You know what I love? You know why I can get up every morning? You know why I can make time to journal every night? It's verses like 2 Timothy 2:13:
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful ---
for He cannot deny himself."
God cannot not be God. I can falter and fail and fumble and fall, yet God will still be faithful. I don't deserve that. No one does.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Companion
I haven't posted for a while and I should have. A few weeks back, I wrote an article for the school paper and then last week it was published in the WeatherVane. I meant to post it, but in the busyness of college life I never remembered to. Today I was told that the word "companion" literally involves people who share bread together. It's people with bread. That reminded me to post my article. So, now I have!
An Invitation to Remember Jesus’ Humanity, Communion
By Daniel Miller, Contributing writer
“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me’” (Luke 22:19). How common is bread? It was a staple of the rich and the poor. It composed the simplest meal and complemented the most bountiful feast. Those who had it lived; those that lacked it starved. As Jesus spoke these words at the Last Supper, God dared to transform the most commonplace food into a symbol of divinity in human flesh. Jesus’ parting gift was a tool for the disciples gathered around him to come together, share in a meal, and know that he is always present. God invited everyone to remember all of Jesus’ life in the simple, daily, mandatory act of consuming bread.
A few days later, two men walked away from Jerusalem to a small village called Emmaus. They were discussing all the events of the past days, of Jesus’ arrest, trial, crucifixion and the latest story of his resurrection, when Jesus himself came up and walked beside them. The two did not recognize the man and proceeded to tell him all about his own life. Jesus walked along listening and teaching them the deeper meaning of the prophets’ words as they recalled all he had done and all he had said. When they reached their destination the two men invited Jesus to share in a meal with them. “When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them” (Luke 24:30). At this, the two men recognized him and he disappeared.
It was as if the memory was enough. The men knew plenty about Jesus—his life, teachings, death—but when walking with him at their side for miles they could not remember him. It was as if they forgot that Jesus was one to walk and talk with his disciples. It was as if they forgot he grew tired and hungry, weary and worn. It was as if they forgot he was indeed fully human! He accepted their invitation to eat bread with them that they may accept his invitation to remember him. And once their eyes were opened and they realized what kind of God they served, he was needed no more. They knew their God dealt with people, not positions. They knew their God cared for relationships, not regulations. In walking and talking among friends, in sharing in a meal—He would always be with them.
When you sit down for a meal, when you share time with friends, stop. Stop and look around at those with you. Look at them and see who they are—not random people, but friends. They are brothers; they are sisters. They are loved by God. Remember that. Remember them. Then eat and share in the memory of the meal; partake of the fellowship that our God demonstrated for us and encouraged us to have. Remember our God that, as a human, partook in this same action with those He knew. Accept His invitation to remember.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sunday notes
I wrote some stuff down during church at the Table today and I want to post it. I thought about fleshing out my scribbles, but I won't. I'll let you come to your own conclusions from something God talked with me about this morning. Enjoy!
Space of lament:
What do I deserve?
What do You give?
forgiveness, mercy
blessings, grace
hardships, trials
What do I deserve? -- nothing. What have I earned? -- nothing.
What do You give? -- everything, good and bad. Then You make it good.
suffering, starvation, disasters, death -- can they be good?
Can even God make them good?
Yes, but I can't believe it.
I can't see it; I can't understand it.
I must trust.
Space of lament:
What do I deserve?
What do You give?
forgiveness, mercy
blessings, grace
hardships, trials
What do I deserve? -- nothing. What have I earned? -- nothing.
What do You give? -- everything, good and bad. Then You make it good.
suffering, starvation, disasters, death -- can they be good?
Can even God make them good?
Yes, but I can't believe it.
I can't see it; I can't understand it.
I must trust.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Prayer
So once upon a Friday afternoon, I was spurred by a friend to think about prayer. I suppose it was mostly a casual comment, but I took it and ran with it anyway! Turns out I really like doing stuff like this! I pulled out past journals and other stuff and just had fun! I guess that makes me kind of lame if this is my opinion of fun on a Friday afternoon!
So here's most of what I wrote. I realized partially through writing it that I might as well post it on my blog. Whether people read it or not it's who I am and I might as well post it. Enjoy!
Last fall dramatically changed my prayer life. I'm not sure if I should call it a good change or not. For months I refused to pray aloud at all. I just wouldn't do it, unless it was really forced on me and then I'd be bitter at whoever asked me to. But anyway, basically two phrases come to mind: "Language has limitations, prayer doesn't," and "wordless groans."
"Language has limitations, prayer doesn't," is from September 29, 2007. I was sitting up on the hill at EMU crying my heart out because I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to pray; I wanted to work through things logically in my head, but I was totally incapable of finding words to even give my thoughts meaning. I couldn't do it! I couldn't think and I thought I couldn't pray. But I could pray. I could pray by crying. I could "just come to God in prayer, lay myself at his feet, and trust in his goodness." I didn't need words then. When I journalled that night I did have words to at least write something down even if "journalling isn't always enough. Pen and paper isn't always adequate." (I feel like I could quote that entry all day! "I am not in control! Let me say that again: I am not in control!" "My job isn't to be God for the world; it's to show God to the world!" "I have to confess my shortcomings and my limitations. After that God's faithfulness takes over! His bounty and love and grace and mercy and forgiveness begin to pour out! In my weakness is God's strength. That's what I learned.")
Sorry, back to the topic at hand. That phrase traveled with me for a while. Then later in October I was going through Romans and got to 8:26 and specifically the phrase "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." At that point is when I stopped praying aloud. I just felt like praying was kind of pointless. What could I tell God or bring to God that He didn't already know? I felt like I was praying to prove my spirituality or win God points or something.
Through it all though, I learned to pray more. One of my favorite verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 "Rejoice always, pray continually." People tell me praying continually isn't possible, but I say it can be. I don't say that I do, but I say that I've seen enough to believe it is possible. Praying with words at specific times during the day makes prayer formal and routine, but it doesn't have to be that way. For a while I enjoyed having a seemingly endless conversation with God! It wasn't a conversation with words, but with smiles and random thoughts and pleas and groans and other people. It was amazing!
I don't know what all this means, perhaps I'd just say stop trying to pray and just be with God. If you have something to say, then say it. I don't encourage silence, it was just something I had to go through. But if you don't have anything to say then say nothing--think nothing. Be with God. He knows all of our thoughts and prayers anyway. Sure, He likes to hear from us, but perhaps even more He likes to be with us. And longer prayers aren't more effective as if it was some formula, but sometimes longer prayers are needed.
I'm just glad that there is such a thing as a blog to vent my thoughts for those that care enough to read! As always, thanks for reading!
So here's most of what I wrote. I realized partially through writing it that I might as well post it on my blog. Whether people read it or not it's who I am and I might as well post it. Enjoy!
Last fall dramatically changed my prayer life. I'm not sure if I should call it a good change or not. For months I refused to pray aloud at all. I just wouldn't do it, unless it was really forced on me and then I'd be bitter at whoever asked me to. But anyway, basically two phrases come to mind: "Language has limitations, prayer doesn't," and "wordless groans."
"Language has limitations, prayer doesn't," is from September 29, 2007. I was sitting up on the hill at EMU crying my heart out because I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to pray; I wanted to work through things logically in my head, but I was totally incapable of finding words to even give my thoughts meaning. I couldn't do it! I couldn't think and I thought I couldn't pray. But I could pray. I could pray by crying. I could "just come to God in prayer, lay myself at his feet, and trust in his goodness." I didn't need words then. When I journalled that night I did have words to at least write something down even if "journalling isn't always enough. Pen and paper isn't always adequate." (I feel like I could quote that entry all day! "I am not in control! Let me say that again: I am not in control!" "My job isn't to be God for the world; it's to show God to the world!" "I have to confess my shortcomings and my limitations. After that God's faithfulness takes over! His bounty and love and grace and mercy and forgiveness begin to pour out! In my weakness is God's strength. That's what I learned.")
Sorry, back to the topic at hand. That phrase traveled with me for a while. Then later in October I was going through Romans and got to 8:26 and specifically the phrase "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." At that point is when I stopped praying aloud. I just felt like praying was kind of pointless. What could I tell God or bring to God that He didn't already know? I felt like I was praying to prove my spirituality or win God points or something.
Through it all though, I learned to pray more. One of my favorite verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 "Rejoice always, pray continually." People tell me praying continually isn't possible, but I say it can be. I don't say that I do, but I say that I've seen enough to believe it is possible. Praying with words at specific times during the day makes prayer formal and routine, but it doesn't have to be that way. For a while I enjoyed having a seemingly endless conversation with God! It wasn't a conversation with words, but with smiles and random thoughts and pleas and groans and other people. It was amazing!
I don't know what all this means, perhaps I'd just say stop trying to pray and just be with God. If you have something to say, then say it. I don't encourage silence, it was just something I had to go through. But if you don't have anything to say then say nothing--think nothing. Be with God. He knows all of our thoughts and prayers anyway. Sure, He likes to hear from us, but perhaps even more He likes to be with us. And longer prayers aren't more effective as if it was some formula, but sometimes longer prayers are needed.
I'm just glad that there is such a thing as a blog to vent my thoughts for those that care enough to read! As always, thanks for reading!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
There is no formula for God
I had the divine pleasure to sit and talk with friends for hours last night talking about life! It was incredible! It’s one reason why I love EMU so much! As we tried to figure out life and our callings and what we ought to do with our education, we kept coming back to this one frustrating truth: There is no formula for God. It’s annoying really. So many Christians live to figure out what God is all about and what His will is for them. They attempt to please Him and spread Jesus’ story to others. That’s all good and well, but it’s not anything simple. You can't learn all about it in class. You can't master a strategy. You can't buy the knowledge of who God is. You can't use a formula for God!
I posed this question: Does God ever make promises He never intends to keep? "Promises" isn't the right word obviously, but I couldn't think of a better way to phrase it at that time. Here's a better way: Does God ever tell you something will happen and then make sure it doesn't happen just to remind you that He is in control? Just when you think you have it figured out, you've been feeling peace and contentment for years on the path you are on and you are so close to making a gigantic difference in the world for God, He pulls out the rug and says: "Stop! I'm in control. So don't think you know the direction I'm leading." Does God do that?
We can get so set on our patterns of life. We can have this one song that always fills our hearts with worship; we can have this one place that fills us with God's presence; we can have this one friend that always shows us Christ at work; and then just to tell us that we haven't figured Him out, God'll pull it all away and remove all its meaning.
It would be so nice if we could say, if you aren't content with life then God wants you some other place. It would be so nice if we could say, if you are at peace then you are exactly who God wants you to be. But then we'd have figured out God. So what if we have no idea where God wants us to go or what God wants us to do or who God wants us to be and we are just asked to walk along blindly? What if we cannot rely on peace for our decisions? What if we are asked to live in discontentment as God tests our faith? What if God never gives us the courage to do that one thing that we should do and expects us to do it anyway? What if God doesn't help us with a decision and expects us just to make it and see Him work through whatever we choose?
No one has figured God out and no one ever will! All we can do is be obedient when His will is clear and always live in faith that He indeed is God.
I posed this question: Does God ever make promises He never intends to keep? "Promises" isn't the right word obviously, but I couldn't think of a better way to phrase it at that time. Here's a better way: Does God ever tell you something will happen and then make sure it doesn't happen just to remind you that He is in control? Just when you think you have it figured out, you've been feeling peace and contentment for years on the path you are on and you are so close to making a gigantic difference in the world for God, He pulls out the rug and says: "Stop! I'm in control. So don't think you know the direction I'm leading." Does God do that?
We can get so set on our patterns of life. We can have this one song that always fills our hearts with worship; we can have this one place that fills us with God's presence; we can have this one friend that always shows us Christ at work; and then just to tell us that we haven't figured Him out, God'll pull it all away and remove all its meaning.
It would be so nice if we could say, if you aren't content with life then God wants you some other place. It would be so nice if we could say, if you are at peace then you are exactly who God wants you to be. But then we'd have figured out God. So what if we have no idea where God wants us to go or what God wants us to do or who God wants us to be and we are just asked to walk along blindly? What if we cannot rely on peace for our decisions? What if we are asked to live in discontentment as God tests our faith? What if God never gives us the courage to do that one thing that we should do and expects us to do it anyway? What if God doesn't help us with a decision and expects us just to make it and see Him work through whatever we choose?
No one has figured God out and no one ever will! All we can do is be obedient when His will is clear and always live in faith that He indeed is God.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Free will is funny
Free will is indeed funny. It's really quite unusual and I never really realized that until tonight. I know it's something that I must have been told before or at least realized to some small degree, but tonight it sunk in. As some people say, what had been head knowledge became heart knowledge tonight. So I figured I'd write about it. Why not?
I have no doubt that free will exists. God gave us the ability to make choices in our own lives with lasting consequences--good or bad. Tonight during a discussion on Genesis we talked about Adam and Eve. They obviously made a choice that was outside the will of God. And God didn't stop them; he allowed it to continue and let them live with the result. He told them not to eat of the fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They ate--free will.
What's funny about free will is the desired result. I consider free will a gift. Let's say it's a coconut. I have a dozen coconuts and don't really need all of them, so I mail a coconut to someone. They keep the coconut or they realize this is a really random gift that made them smile and would make others smile as well so they send it to someone else. The gift gets passed from person to person, but I don't want my 12th coconut back.
Free will is a gift God has given to us. He could force us to make choices that glorify Himself, but He chooses to give us freedom to make our own decisions. The funny part is that the thing He most desires is for us to give that gift right back to Him. We, as humans in God's image, have the ability to choose whatever we want. Ideally though, God would like us to forfeit that precious choice and do whatever he chooses--whatever glorifies Him. He'll make the choices for us and ask for our obedience and trust as we do as He wills not as we will. We give His gift right back to Him
Romans 8:28 comes to mind. It's a promise God gave us. My paraphrase: We know that God will work everything for good for those that love him and accept their calling. Basically, we can make choices for our own good and do what we can to improve our own lives. Or, we can choose God's purpose for our lives and live according to his choices and trust that he will carry out his promise to bring us good. Essentially, it's rejecting free will and living for God's will; it's being vulnerable and open and weak. That's what God wants us to do with our gift.
My prayer: Father, we come before you on our knees with our arms open. We ask for your will and the ability to live in it. So be it.
I have no doubt that free will exists. God gave us the ability to make choices in our own lives with lasting consequences--good or bad. Tonight during a discussion on Genesis we talked about Adam and Eve. They obviously made a choice that was outside the will of God. And God didn't stop them; he allowed it to continue and let them live with the result. He told them not to eat of the fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They ate--free will.
What's funny about free will is the desired result. I consider free will a gift. Let's say it's a coconut. I have a dozen coconuts and don't really need all of them, so I mail a coconut to someone. They keep the coconut or they realize this is a really random gift that made them smile and would make others smile as well so they send it to someone else. The gift gets passed from person to person, but I don't want my 12th coconut back.
Free will is a gift God has given to us. He could force us to make choices that glorify Himself, but He chooses to give us freedom to make our own decisions. The funny part is that the thing He most desires is for us to give that gift right back to Him. We, as humans in God's image, have the ability to choose whatever we want. Ideally though, God would like us to forfeit that precious choice and do whatever he chooses--whatever glorifies Him. He'll make the choices for us and ask for our obedience and trust as we do as He wills not as we will. We give His gift right back to Him
Romans 8:28 comes to mind. It's a promise God gave us. My paraphrase: We know that God will work everything for good for those that love him and accept their calling. Basically, we can make choices for our own good and do what we can to improve our own lives. Or, we can choose God's purpose for our lives and live according to his choices and trust that he will carry out his promise to bring us good. Essentially, it's rejecting free will and living for God's will; it's being vulnerable and open and weak. That's what God wants us to do with our gift.
My prayer: Father, we come before you on our knees with our arms open. We ask for your will and the ability to live in it. So be it.